Do This Every Day and Watch Your Life Change | Tony Robbins – Transcript

00:00Tony, I want to start with, you know, with you there's so many things we can talk about and you've been doing this work for decades. I feel like your ability to learn what's at the root of things is is second to none. It's so powerful for you to know and I feel today since even when you started people are still stuck. The thing I hear the most is I'm stuck in a relationship. I'm stuck in a dead-end job. I'm stuck in life and I feel like I can't move. I

00:25don't know what I need to do. What's the first thing people need to do if they feel stuck? >> They've got to make some decisions, right? I mean, and what stops people to make decisions you and I know what this is, fear. People are afraid of making the wrong decision, fear of not being perfect, fear of the consequences of their decisions. But let's let's chunk it up a little bit. What do people really want?

00:45We started out we were all here created by something. I I like God as the term, some people like the universe. I I'm not here to argue with that whatsoever, but we have to agree that something created us and that something gave us choices. And choices are how we create, we co-create our basically our lives. It's not your conditions, it's your decisions determine the quality of your life. I had pretty rough conditions growing up to say the least, but I turned those into good conditions because of a mindset, because of certain psychology,

01:12because of certain decisions. And if you think about your life, most people are stressed because they Stress is usually measured by how much you feel you control events versus events control you. The more you feel events are controlling you, the more overwhelmed you feel, the more stress, the more anxiety, the more fear and we live in a culture where mental health is at record lows in terms of quality and happiness and joy and fulfillment and depression and anxiety are through the roof. And it's not because the world is so much more

01:39stressful, it's because the way we process the world. We have more information coming at us than any time in history, obviously. We're drowning in information, we're starving for wisdom. But in order to go from being stressed to not, we got to understand that the I think the single most important tool is decision-making. Because I I that's been the skill that took me from, you know, barely surviving in a family that had tremendous pain and tremendous um angst was to be the nicest word to say,

02:07and no finances, and four different fathers, and a lot of physical and emotional abuse to being able to serve literally hundreds of millions, billions of people. It's been decisions along the way. So, if you look at your own life, yours, mine, anyone's life, anyone listening or watching, you have to be honest and say, "I'm a creator."

02:25And if I don't like what I have, I've gotten here by the decisions that have created that. And look, there's lots of little decisions we make all day long, and I know you talk about decisions. I'm writing a whole book on it right now. Um and most people, you know, [clears throat] don't understand that most decisions are easy to change, right? You know, I think I think you give an example. I I give the example of Bezos as well, as Amazon, and type two decisions are the ones you can change really easily. Type one are significant, right? They're going to be hard to change. Focusing on those big

02:51decisions is really important in life. But I think most people they're afraid. And then the second thing is they think they don't have enough information, which is really just fear again. Because, you know, I wrote an entire book where I interviewed 50 of the most incredible financial people in the world, all people who started with nothing and became billionaires, the best investors in history, the Ray Dalios, the Carl Icahns, the Warren Buffets.

03:12And one thing I learned over and over again from them is the smartest people usually are terrible investors. >> How can that be? >> Yeah. >> They said because the smartest people want to know everything before they decide. >> Mhm. >> And if you wait till you know everything, the opportunity's gone. And that's true not just in finance. I think that's true in life.

03:27>> Yes. >> Right? We wait till we have absolute certainty. There's no absolute certainty in life. The only absolute certainty is faith. You know, it's like how do you drive down a street with nothing but a yellow line separating you from crazies coming driving at you at 65 miles an hour, and every single day in every country in the world, in every city in the world, someone will cross that line and kill someone cuz they were drunk, cuz they fell asleep, cuz they're texting. And yet, how do you get out there every day without fear and do it? You use a gift that God gave us. It's called faith.

03:55It's not what you learn faith. I'm not talking about a religion. I'm talking the capacity to see beyond the present moment and have a sense of certainty, right? So, the fastest way to change your life is start making some real decisions. And I know it's hard initially. Um the other part is it's just that the more you make decisions, the more decision-making muscles you get. You know what I mean? It's like well, you barely Some people have weak decision-making muscles. They You ever been to a dinner with somebody or group of people and there's always one person that's hanging on to the last

04:23moment, still can't decide. You see the waiter waitress trying to be nice. You can see him kind of losing their patience, right? IT'S LIKE JUST FREAKING DECIDE. HELP THIS LADY OUT, RIGHT? AND THEY finally decide. Well, some of that's the habit of a lot of people. And it's they can't make a decision what to eat for dinner tonight. How they going to make a life decision, right? So, the first step is to make some. Maybe make some small ones that you can do and get some momentum. But, the more decisions you make, the faster it gets. I think the whole idea that I have to make the right decision and

04:51it is the is the is the wrong way to look at it. My whole view has been not deciding is the worst decision, right? I need to consciously decide if I don't want to feel like things are affecting me. If I'm going to shape my world, I'm making a decision. And if I'm wrong, I'll find out quicker. I asked him what the most important skill was of a leader and he said decision-making, which I agreed with obviously. And I said, "Well, what do you think keeps you making decisions?" And he said, "I'll tell you a story."

05:14So, he told me the story. I'll tell you the short version of it briefly. When he was a private, he represented a general. And the Pentagon had worked for almost, I think he said more than a decade and a half analyzing this strategic decision they had to make.

05:28And there were people on both sides and they argued on both sides fully so strongly that no one made a decision for over 10 years. He said he came in the meeting. He said, "Give me your arguments." One person stood up 20 minutes and gave this full-blown argument, this is the direction to go. All right, give me your argument. 20 minutes, full blast their argument. He said, "Okay, do this."

05:50And he all saluted, and he walked out of the room. And he said, Schwarzkopf said, he he was a private, not a general, right, at that time, right? He said, "I don't know what the hell to do. He couldn't possibly know all this information. He couldn't possibly know what to do in this situation." And he was totally stressed by it. And so, he worked up enough courage to knock on the general's door and said, "General, permission to speak freely." He said, "Ease. At ease."

06:14He goes, "General, I've worked on this for 4 weeks with eight people. I said, you weren't even here last night. This is one of the most important decisions ever. How could I know you didn't have ALL THE INFORMATION? HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY MAKE THAT DECISION?" He said, "Young man, cuz a decision needed to be made."

06:30>> >> And he said, "And both sides were equally strong. So, I picked the one I believe is right. If I'm wrong, we'll find out quicker. It won't take a dictate you know, 10 years to find out. And if I'm right, we'll continue. If I'm wrong, WE'LL MAKE A SHIFT." And he said it He said it just was outside of his world. It was so simple.

06:46And then he told me one other one that I thought was really good. He said he was leaving one time and he left him as a private in charge of things. He said, "You're in charge. You make these decisions. You do these things." He said, "General, General, UH >> >> HOW DO I KNOW WHAT TO DO?" HE SAID, "Rule 13." He goes, "Rule 13, sir." He started out the door. He says, "What's rule 13?" He couldn't figure out what rule 13 was.

07:07"When put in command, take charge." He goes, "Okay." Then he goes, "But but how do I make the right decision?" He goes, "Rule 14." He goes, "Rule 14, sir. What's rule 14?" "Do what's right." >> >> And those simple approaches, I think, can guide us. And I I really believe decision making is the most important thing. So, if you don't like your body, change it. If you like your relationship, change it. Maybe change you first, otherwise you'll trade people and have the same problems, right? You know, you don't like your your career,

07:34change it. But it For things to get better, we got to get better. For things to change, my teacher Jim Rohn said, "You got to change, right?" But it all begins with a decision. So, maybe start with small decisions or maybe attack a big one cuz when you do, you get momentum. And by the way, it's only a decision if you act on it immediately.

07:51And so, I have a rule that's like anytime I set a goal, anytime I make a decision, I make sure that within a few minutes of making it, I do something that commits me to follow through cuz here's the other problem. Have you ever done this? You ever made a decision and not follow through?

08:06>> Yeah. >> Why? >> Uh because I was maybe maybe because I made a decision and I was uneasy about it afterwards or there was some fear that crept in or I didn't I didn't have a plan to execute it on it properly. Maybe one of those. >> those All those are the typical answers so you're spot-on in your experience.

08:22But the biggest reason is people think decisions are a one-step process. And I found it's three. >> Mhm. >> Right? You can decide in the moment. The reason I make that commitment that when I'm in the moment, I do something commits me when I leave that moment, you get in state. You get inspired enough or you get pissed off enough. Something moves you and say, "Not in the day, not in an hour, I'm changing this, right?"

08:43But then when you leave that moment, and you get caught up with some meeting or something with your family or something in your your social media email or whatever it is, gradually you're in a different state and then you don't follow through. And what you said is true. Something else comes up that you weren't prepared for. Right? So, a real decision, the word decision comes from incision in Latin which means to cut off from.

09:03When you cut off any other possibility except what you committed to, you will find the way. It's always tell people if you want to take the island, burn your boats. As long as your brain has a way out, it'll go back. And it's amazing what you'll do when there's no option to go back. Most of my career has been cuz I had no net. I you know, Venus and Serena Williams and I got to turn around right now. She can't get on. Her sister died. She can't get on the US Open. She can't get on stand up. She can't get up to do anything. Everybody knows I'm working with her. If I don't get her up, >> >> the whole thing's over. I get her up. I

09:30turn the president around. I do whatever I've got to do. I eat no matter who it was. With no net, you find a way. So, I think the biggest thing is once you decide you want to go to the second step is commit. In fact, I hear women say this to me all the time. I know you have a large female audience. They'll say, "You know, men don't commit."

09:47And I said, [snorts] "Has he even decided?" Mhm. Cuz they're different steps. Mhm. Women jump to commitment very quickly. Men not as quickly, [clears throat] right? And so, deciding is like a war sometimes. You know, I got [clears throat] to figure it out. Okay, I've decided. But then commitment, if I ask your audience to ask them, "What's the difference Let me ask you, what's the difference between deciding and committing to you?"

10:08>> I feel like decide is I know what direction I want to do it go in. Commitment is I want to stay in that direction for a long period of time. >> Yes. You just added that with exactly what it is. A commitment takes it into the future. Decision is the moment, and that moment can change. To me, resolve is whatever you did in that moment, it's done.

10:26>> Right. Right, right. >> Right. I I know um Jim Rohn had told me one time that he was speaking about resolve to this audience of young people. And I think it was like a 9-year-old girl. He said, "Who's got a definition of resolve?" And this young girl stood up and she said, "I think it's promising yourself you will never give up."