Julliene Salviano · Transcript · · Updated
Desafio MVO | Dia 2 | É você ou o que Te Ensinaram a Ser – Transcript
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Welcome a very warm welcome to the second day of our challenge Dave So how was yesterday's day one challenge? Yesterday you looked outward right at your environment at what the space where you live was saying about you and Perhaps you saw things you didn't expect to see I don't know. Tell me about it. Okay today. We're gonna turn the mirror inward right right?
We had this mirror facing outward right right to see what it would say us, but facing outward And now we are going to turn it inward because you can tidy up your entire house But if your mind remains in the same state in two weeks, everything will be the same External disorders always reflection of something deeper of an internal disorder, right?
And it's this deeper thing that we are gonna look at today We are gonna start with a question that might seem simple, but it isn't for you It's not who you would like to be it's not who others say you are You are It's not the position you hold the role you play in a company in some place what you have achieved or what you have lost Who are you truly deep down when we peel away all these layers, right?
Most people have never stopped to truly answer this question or to think about it and This has an enormous cost because when you don't know who you are you act according to who others expect you to be Be be it others your family of origin your spouse your children your boss Your co-workers or even the society where you find yourself And so you spend your whole life serving expectations that were never yours
Young who was one of the first psychologists some map this territory with great depth Identified within each person a structure He called the persona the social mask we build to adapt right to adapt to the environment But the persona is not bad. It has a real function You don't present yourself in the same way to your mother your boss your children or your spouse This is healthy and normal
The problem begins when the persona swallows the self when you identify so much with the mask that you forget There is a real face underneath when what you show the world is so distant from who you really are That you yourself can no longer tell them apart And that's where the specific suffering of those who live a false self comes in right?
It's not a loud suffering. No, it's muted It's a feeling that something doesn't fit that you perform Well, but in a way that has nothing to do with you that you are approved by others But not by yourself that life makes no sense that there's a distance between what you show and what you feel and This distance grows significantly over time Jordan Peterson puts it very directly You are not who you think you are you are what you do repeatedly
As long as you don't take responsibility for who you are being you will continue to be governed by what you avoid What you inherited and what you have never examined Experienced null never examined and here we reach this central point of this lesson Because much of what you call you is not yours. It was inherited In the book or secrets of the millionaire mind the author describes something he calls mental models
The internal pattern that governs your actions and results in a given area of life He speaks specifically of finances and money, but the principle applies to everything Relationships work health self-esteem the ability to sustain achievements This mental model was formed in your childhood by your family by the environment Neighborhood city and country where you grew up by what you saw heard and lived before you had the maturity to
question anything right Often it is formed by what you heard about yourself and you began to believe it and sometimes you were already an adult or Teenager right you had a certain capacity for this discernment But this can happen even to adults and teenagers right you end up convincing yourself that you are that in other words that you are for example Incompetent that you don't do anything right, right?
You are not capable or you are limited that you don't you only fit Oh you look if you leave this company you'll never have a chance anywhere else I Was the one who opened doors for you a person might say a friend or someone like that And in doing so you keep limiting yourself right?
But this choice it is not a conscious choice You ended up absorbing it especially in childhood our brain is in recording mode It acts like a sponge registering everything as absolute truth and What was recorded there operates automatically today below the conscious level?
Determining your choices even before you realize they are happening Let me give you concrete examples here Even your family money was always scarce if you heard since you were a child that money is a difficult business at the richer dishonest that we Aren't from this we aren't from that world right?
This model was recorded by you or in you right or Else that you don't belong to that world, you know things like that Today even if you consciously want to prosper there will always be something that sabotages you unless you bring awareness to it and break this pattern Eh, you may earn more, but you will always spend more without knowing why For example, you get close to an achievement and you freeze you sabotage yourself
You do something that makes you have to step back you feel guilty when things go. Well. Well. Why why? Because you don't know but you end up feeling guilty If in your family the relationship patterns were chaotic, right?
There was absence. There was conflict. This model was probably recorded in you as well and Today you might repeat these relational patterns even not wanting to you might end up Meeting a person choosing your spouse Who's exactly that person who will repeat that blessed pattern sometimes a complicated woman an aggressive man or Not right?
If you had good examples, maybe you have recorded These good examples and follow them, right? If it works for the bad it also works for the good This applies to all aspects of life, right? On the issue of money. I forgot to mention, right? You have to take a look see how your closest relatives the people you lived with the most how they handled money Notice that
Then see which pattern you follow or which you reject because you don't like that person Sometimes a very prosperous father. You may not like him and reject that way of his handling money that brought him prosperity And that could be what is holding you back, okay?
If you grew up in an environment where your abilities were underestimated where they told you that you weren't good enough at Absolutely anything that people like you would never make it that your place is right there that model that Limits what you believe is possible, you know for you Because others told you that you have to pass a public service exam for example, but sometimes you have an entrepreneurial streak
But they told you so much that the only way to get anywhere is through a public exam that you spend your whole life hammering away at that And you might succeed and then when you succeed, it's not what you want And you live dissatisfied So be careful, okay Because you might keep yourself exactly where this model says you should be In psychology, this has a name, right?
Young described it with great precision. It is the shadow The shadow is the repository of everything that has been rejected repressed and not integrated And what goes into the shadow doesn't disappear, okay? It acts in the patterns you repeat unintentionally in the reactions that surprise you in the self-sabotage you can't explain But the shadow isn't just something bad The shadow also guards your forgotten talents your aptitudes the skills you ended up repressing to live in a certain family
or even social environment Victor Frankel presents another dimension perhaps a deeper one He says that a human being can have everything taken away from them family freedom health But one thing no circumstance can take away The freedom to choose how to act You don't choose the environment where you were born your zip code your zip code You didn't choose the family the wounds the models that were imprinted
But you can choose what you do with all of that you can choose to examine question integrate and transform This is maturity It is the movement from the inherited to that which was chosen by you from the automatic to the intentional from the reactive to the responsible And here the christian tradition Offers us something that psychology alone cannot which is an anchor You don't need to build an identity from scratch. You need to discover
What already exists? Saint thomas teaches us saint thomas here right teaches us that there is a created nature in you That you have a nature created by god Good in its origin Oriented toward a purpose So you are not condemned by what you inherited in this world You have a good nature that can be cultivated with every conscious choice with every act of courage to be who you really are
You are there updating that nature Saint Augustine said something that no modern psychologist has been able to surpass until now You have made us for yourself. Oh lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you True identity is not a construct of yours. It is a return A return to your origin, which is god Finding in god not a limitation but a source You know Your very own
Source of fulfillment And now we move on to the task for day two right Paper and pen you are going to answer three questions with total honesty Don't worry. No one is going to read this stuff What is true for you What are the three core beliefs about yourself that you have carried for longer than you can remember?
Could it be about what you are capable of what you deserve or your place in the world? And where did those beliefs come from try to map and trace them? Are they yours or were they inherited if they were inherited where were they inherited from? Second is there any pattern in your life that repeats even when you don't want it to Do In relationships money work health Something you can maybe trace back to your family or the environment you grew up in
There is this pattern right that is common to the environment where you grew up Third if you could remove all the expectations of others from your history Every opinion of those who have known you forever. Who would you choose to be? Write it down, but don't overthink it because it needs to come from your subconscious. Don't think just write These answers are for no one but you, okay But they are the beginning of something important the start of you truly beginning to see yourself
So here in this video, tell me which belief you identified that clearly isn't yours Tell me a bit about this process you are experiencing by answering these questions and doing these self-analysis Sometimes life tries to put us in little boxes in small corners, but we are so much more than that, right?
A great example is that person who while living in a city where everyone knows them can't leave the neighborhood Can't change professions can't move forward, but sometimes they move to a Place where no one knows them and then they manage to take off Often it's not because that place had more opportunities. It's because nobody there knows that person Nobody knows you