The Value of Self-Esteem - President James E. Faust – Transcript

00:04it's a joy to be with all of you young adults and your leaders this evening as we are seated in the newly renovated and beloved tabernacle along with those of you who have gathered in the stakes in engineer and far and who are per viewing these proceedings by means of satellite transmission i'm

00:35i think i'm more comfortable than you are i remember when i used to sit in those seats and when the tabernacle was remodeled they weren't made any softer

01:02we're we're delighted to see you all you wonderful young men and women and uh we're grateful for you and appreciate uh the fact that you want to go forward and do what's right and accomplish the things which the lord would have you accomplish in your lives

01:32and you young ladies named seem to know what you're doing and want to do and the young men are learning what they ought to do i just like to say one word to you young man don't take too much counsel from your

01:58fears i'll think about that i'm grateful to have sister faust here with me uh when we decided to get married i told her that i needed her help

02:23and that i needed to get more schooling and would appreciate her support and i can honestly say that she gave that support and much much more and made it possibly possible for me to do some of the things that i've done in my life

02:52i guess i should say to you that marriage involves having a help meet and those years and still sister vows has been very much my best help me tonight i'd like to talk about self-esteem what we think of ourselves

03:18how we relate to others what they think of us and the value of what we accomplish an unknown englishman of early days offered this prayer oh god help me hold a high opinion of myself that said president harold b lee of the englishman's plea should be the

03:42prayer of every soul not an abnormally developed self-esteem that becomes hardiness conceit or arrogance but a righteous self-respect that might be defined as belief in one's own worth worth to god and worth to man indeed the self-esteem

04:09that i speak of this morning is this evening is not blind or arrogant or vain self-love but rather a self-esteem that is self-respecting honest and without conceit and is born of inner peace and strength self-esteem goes to the very heart of our personal growth and accomplishment

04:34it's the glue that holds together our self-reliance our self-control our self-approval or disapproval and keeps all self-defense mechanisms secure it is a protection against excessive self-deception self-distrust self-reproach and plain old-fashioned selfishness

05:04in my long life i have observed that the greatest respect is owed not necessary to the rich nor the famous but to the quiet unsung unknown heroes whose true identity is like that of the unknown soldier is known only to god

05:26the unsung often have little of status but much worth when i was growing up in the cottonwood area of salt lake county it was a rural part of the valley one of the men who had the greatest dignity and commanded the greatest direct respect was an old scandinavian brother who after walking a

05:52couple of miles traveled by streetcar to work at the salt lake city cemetery and back every day his work was to water and mow the grass and tend the flowers and dig the graves he said little because he did not speak english well but he was always where he should be doing what he should be doing

06:16in a most dignified and exemplary way he had no problems with ego or with faith for while he dug graves for a living he felt his work was to serve god he was a man of little status but of great great worth when the savior called his disciples he was not looking for men and women of

06:43status property or fame he was looking for those of worth and potential they were an interesting group those early disciples the fishermen the tax gatherer and the others after they were called to be apostles i did not become puffed up or think they were superior on one occasion after some of them had

07:09been beaten they went on their way rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name worth has little to do with age it has everything to do with service the lord has made it clear that worthiness is built upon service not just to family and friends but also

07:35to strangers and even enemies from milton's paradise loss comes as truth of times nothing profits more than self-esteem grounded on just and right well managed i would like to suggest six essential keys

08:00to keep a healthy self-esteem the first key is to keep your free agency this means that you must not surrender self-control nor yield to habits that bind to addiction that enslaves nor to conduct that destroys to keep our free agency we must avoid the deadly traps

08:26and pitfalls from which there can be sometimes no escape some have been ensnared and spent the best years of their lives trying to escape and so exhaust themselves in the process that even in the end even though have they have ultimately found themselves freed from the addiction

08:50they are spent burned out nerves shot and their brains dulled forever how much better off we would be and how much more complete our free agency if we were able to say with the psalmist i have refrained my feet from every evil evil the second key to inadequate self-esteem

09:16is humility i do not mean the breast-beating sackcloth and ashes kind of humility i mean the humility that comes with inner strength and peace it is the humility that allows us to accept and live with our own warts without cosmetics to hide them it is important to learn to live with our uncorrectable physical and mental defects without

09:45complaint or explanation some months ago i had a back operation i've never been the same since i may never be but the first time that i spoke over in the conference center with a little pulpit like this one of my granddaughters said oh grandpa you look so comfortable up there

10:12i just wanted to come up and crawl on your lap some years ago i became acquainted with a delightful and wonderful new friend he is a successful businessman charming outgoing and well groomed his spirituality shines through his countenance a few months later i noticed a slight limp in his walk

10:38which had not been obvious before that led to a closer observation when i looked past the gracious smile i noticed that my friend was slightly hunchbacked with a somewhat misshapen spine these physical defects were so well hidden by the natural goodness warmth and great charm they were as

11:04nothing in the total man my friend accepts his physical defects with humility and strength and completely compensates for them with his natural personality there is another dimension of humility that must be mentioned that of being teachable the prophet

11:28samuel counsels now therefore stand still that i may reason with you proverbs reminds us that whoso loveth instruction loveth knowledge the third key to self-esteem is honesty honesty begins with being true to one's own self some years ago i sat in a respect as a spectator in a heart-rending courtroom

11:56drama concerning the custody of some children the contention was that the natural mother was not a good housekeeper which was intended to add fuel to the claim that she was an unfit mother the caseworker tested that when she visited the family home it was in a shambles and that the kitchen was dirty the natural mother seeking to keep

12:24custody of her children was called to the witness stand a middle-aged heavy physically unattractive lady came forward took the oath and sat in the witness stand the attorney for the father who had remarried and wanted the custody of the children followed up relentlessly on the testimony already provided by the caseworker his questions to the beleaguered mother

12:50were penetrating isn't it a fact he asked that your house was as dirty as a pig pen the day of the caseworker came what drama how could the mother answer in her own best interest and protect the custody of her children what she she say there was electricity in the air she hesitated for a tense moment and then she responded