NPTEL-NOC IITM · Transcript · · Updated
4. The Research Journey_Navigating Uncertainty, Setbacks, and Discovery - Part 02 – Transcript
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Summary
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- The speaker suggests observing and noting lab mates strengths, then appreciating them directly and introducing them to visitors to build a stronger connection.
- When receiving a harsh remark, treating it like a stain that can be cleaned and moved on from helps avoid unnecessary burdens and performance drops.
- The speaker explains the listening framework called rasa, which involves receiving the person, showing attention with body language, summarizing, and asking follow-up questions.
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>> I'm going to give you very simple practices that would help you in terms of fostering very good relationships within the lab. And it will also help further in your life.
Just simple practices which has helped me greatly. So, I just want to share such practices with you. First one. >> [gasps] >> If you are able to observe some strengths in your lab mates.
And you sort of sort of note it down. Over and over you see them using that strength of theirs. It may be a good idea to note it down. And when an opportunity comes, for example, if there are visitors coming.
You could introduce your lab mate as someone who is super in this particular activity or in in in this field. Okay, when you when you actually introduce something like that. You know appreciating also introducing your lab mate in a way that you value their strength.
And that's that's a plus for you to have a sort of connect that is beyond the usual hi-bye kind kind of connect. Right? When you do this, they feel valued.
They feel that there is something that the person has looked at me and found out. Right? And it's [clears throat] an inspiration to grow together. Right? It's like a nourishment for a plant. Okay? So, all you have to do is it could be encouragement that you do.
It could be providing that confidence. But, the moment you appreciate them directly in front of them, to the towards them, also when when other people uh when you're when you're introducing um your lab mate to the other people, when you tell them that's another thing that
helps a lot in terms of bringing this lab mate community together. And therefore, just recognize the strength and nourish people. That transforms the way in which the entire environment in the lab uh uh functions.
The next one is also a very simple, but very effective one in terms of how not only you feel relieved, but also you don't take certain things beyond a certain extent.
Let us say, >> [gasps] >> you were discussing with your lab mate. It could be friend also, but I'm just saying lab mate so that it establishes something that you can help yourself with as far as lab mates are concerned.
Let's say you start to now discuss on something. At that time, for whatever reason, you get a very harsh remark from your lab mate. Right? Just a comment.
A comment that sort of when you look back, you feel bad. You feel bad. Oh my god, how did this person state such a such a thing to me?
How can that person be so rude, so so bad with me? Right? And this sort of grows in our mind because we are replaying it over and over and over. And therefore, what happens is it just fills your heart.
In in a in a sense of burdening you. Right? And this burden you carry all the way. When you carry such a burden, what happens is your effectiveness, your efficiency, your way of doing things also will sort of drop down.
Your performance will drop down like anything. Right? And this many of you would have experienced is not something that I'm making up, but many of us go through this kind of a thing. One day, when I was having tea in a in a sort of gathering, a small bit of tea fell on my clothing.
When that happened, suddenly I felt okay to go to the to the restroom, make sure that I remove the stain, come back because this is is a nice shirt that I have and why have a stain.
But when I was doing that, suddenly I felt, "Oh my god, this is a stain." I went to make sure that I sort of wipe it clean with water such such that it this remains good clothing clean again.
But I didn't do this when a harsh remark was made on me. What a difference, no? But that struck me like anything. From that day, it has helped me greatly when I look at this as a stain that can be removed.
That can be not artificially, but you know, you feel it, yes, assimilate it, and move on. That move on is a very powerful thing that happens to you. And the relationship that you have for the loop roommate, I'm sorry, here it's lab mate, for the lab mate who made such a comment.
Sometimes your lab mate may come back and feel okay, sorry for what he or she has done. And it creates a very strong bond between lab mates. So, folks, it may be a good idea to clarify to that lab mate uh and stay with your feeling for some time.
Come to terms with that there is a feedback that has come. Process that feedback. Discuss with the lab mate if possible. Forget about that after that.
Retain what the feedback that would help you in terms of grow. And move on. That's the powerful way by which you will sleep very well every day. You will be You will not be looking at that lab mate or friend as somebody who made this remark.
And thirdly, the lab mate or the other person also will feel a bond with you. Practice it and you will see this happening. The third practice that I wanted to talk to you about is the skill of listening.
Every human in this world, in my opinion, should learn listening. What kind of listening? Julian Treasure, in his TED Talk, gives a beautiful way by which you can you can do this listening.
He calls it as rasa. What is rasa? You receive the person. When somebody wants to share something, the first thing that you could do is to receive that particular person.
You can go towards So, how is it going? Is there something that I can help you with? So, the moment you go towards you turn towards that person as if to receive. Without any distractions that is hurting.
Giving full attention to the person who is in front of you is what is called receiving. Receiving provides a very comfortable environment for the person who is sharing.
After that, in order to make sure that the person is continuing to share, you show as if >> [sighs] >> you are listening. How do you do that? Some kind of body language. Oh, I see. Uh okay. Uh-huh.
Etc. etc. etc. And maintain the eye contact. Simple responses would be enough. Oh, I see. Oh, okay. So, these sort of help the person who is sharing that you're listening. You're appreciating what the other person is saying.
But how will the other person know that you are now able to understand what the other person is saying? A simple way that we can do this is to summarize and ask, "Oh, you said that this person talked to you the other day in a way that you did not like."